2013 now seems almost a lifetime ago, it was the year I read Ian Cobain’s Cruel Britannia, and I wanted to explore a film about Britain and torture. But it turned out to be a challenge finding people to take part, and as a result the project began to move in a different direction, so that now at the end of this long journey, the film bears little resemblance to the initial impetus.

I had not spent this long working on a documentary film before, and I am still at somewhat of a loss how it could have turned into such a mammoth endeavour. I read more material than for any previous project. With every rejection I turned a different corner, explored a different angle, and encountered a new challenge. From people declining to take part, to receiving no reply, to sudden silence, to being asked to buy the rights to a work (for a no budget documentary with no funding), to a broadcaster making their own film on a similar theme after I had submitted a treatment and met them to talk about the project. Some wondered why I should be the one to tell this story, a legitimate question for sure, a filmmaker’s motivation and suitability for a story are valid especially from potential contributors. This project faced many challenges and delays, but I persevered, for 10 years on and off.

I persevered because with every rejection, with every challenge I encountered, I began to look deeper and I began to search wider. And it became clear there was an important and unique story to tell. Colonialism is a system which is relevant not only to the former colonies, but perhaps even more so to Britain and British people themselves. I persevered despite the difficulties, because I believed viewers would see something in this story, irrespective of background, it was a story which had to be shared. And the two people who believed in me and inspired me to continue with this project were Simeon Roberts and Garima Raghuvanshy. They helped me understand how people from different backgrounds and from different parts of the world view the same subject from very different perspectives. They helped me understand how what happened during empire is central to many peoples’ identity today, in a way I had not considered. They helped me to understand where to look and who to approach when after a dozen consecutive rejections, I was close to despair. The fact that this film will be completed is as much due to their support as to my obstinance.

I had not set out to make a film about the British Empire, but as so often happens, a story takes you where it wants to go, not where you want it to go, that is what makes a story original and meaningful. The narrative formed over time, much as a sculpture. By and by as it took shape, what emerged was a narrative about how Britain attempted to create meaning during Empire, and how it attempted to distort and obscure its history at the end of Empire. It is a film about illusions, and perhaps it is fitting to look at these illusions in a present where the world seems full of competing illusions.

Has the long journey been worthwhile? I hope so, perhaps that is something to leave to the viewer.

Michael Oswald